Driving the Big Rig – aka “Mobi”

The question I get asked the most often is some form of, “What’s it like to drive and do you need a special license?”  

OK, that is really two questions, but they usually come right after another so let’s call it one.

The answer to the second part is easy – no.  It requires nothing other than a normal driver’s license.  No training, no certification, nothing.  Just hop in and go.  And if that does not scare you a bit, it probably should (more on that in a bit).  The answer to the first part is a bit complicated.

To level set – I have had the opportunity to fly, drive, propel, tug, pull, goad and push a huge number of different transportation modes.  I have over 3000 hours in a dozen different aircraft.  I spent a summer driving heavy equipment building roads.  Thanks to some help from my brother, I got to command a US Navy YP craft (that’s a big boat for you non-Navy types) and run a simulated man-over-board drill (ok, so maybe it did not end so well for the dummy that fell overboard, but that’s a different story).  Thanks to another friend in the Royal Navy, I even managed to talk a ferry captain into letting me drive the boat for a bit from Northern Ireland to Scotland. 

Nothing is like driving Mobi.

The only way Carolyn and I have figured out how to describe it – Driving the RV is a bit like Dolly Parton sitting on a pack mule pulling a wagon.  A bit top heavy, slow and plodding, with a fair amount of junk hanging out back.

First off, you sit down and notice that the windscreen is probably the largest single pane of glass in existence.  At least 12 feet wide as it wraps around the sides and more than 6 feet high.  The visibility is a bit much (and no bug on the road can escape you!).  Shortly after that awareness you realize that you are taller than everything on the road.  With the exception of the brand new Mack truck cabs, you look down on everyone. 

After you get used to sitting in the captain’s chair you go for a drive.  One word of advice on this – “anticipation.”  If there is a dip in the road, unless you planned for it at least a quarter mile ahead, you are going to hit it.  And with a tire pressure of 100 psi, you are going to feel the hit (which does not make Dolly sitting on the mule happy at all).  The concept of “jinking” quickly to avoid something simply does not exist.  Then there is the width problem.  When in the dead center of a normal lane there is best case, 3-6 inches of clearance on either sides of the wheels.  Sway at all and you are scraping mirrors with your neighbor.  Along with width there is a height problem.  At 13 feet, suddenly you have to actually pay attention to the overpass.  On the Interstate, no worries.  But hit a back road or city street and you just might find yourself having to back up a long way.  Not to mention the occasional powerline that comes loose a bit and sags – these will come up out of nowhere and rip off your TV antenna and damage your air conditioner – trust me!  (again, a story for another time).

Finally, there is turning.  Unlike most cars where the backend is only a couple feet behind the rear wheels, Moby has a good 15 feet of “behind” hanging out.  Add in a bike rack and tow vehicle and there is at least 30 feet of junk back there.  When you turn, you better plan ahead and swing wide.  Otherwise the next thing you here will be a “crunch” sound.

Which brings me to a discussion on RV Drivers.  As I mentioned above, there is no license and no training requirement at all.  And this should scare you.  Now that we have been at this awhile, I have noticed that not all RV drivers are the same.   Since we are approaching the 10,000 mile driving mark, I feel qualified to comment.  In general, I would say there are three categories of RV drivers.

• The Professional.  This person is easily identified on the road.  Almost without fail they will be driving a 40 foot rig at least. It will be diesel and there will be a tow vehicle behind it, usually a Jeep or some type of pickup truck.  If it is a pickup there will probably be a golf cart in the bed.  The driver, regardless of gender, will be grey haired, probably bearded (male or female – who am I to judge!) and probably have a ball cap with either the local Lions Club or the name of a golf resort. You have nothing to fear from this driver.  They have been doing this so long they could at any time tell you within an inch the exact location of the full rig.  They can park in places you and I would think twice about putting a Mini Cooper.  When you see them, wave and know you are safe on the road.

• The Pure Amateur.  Again, this person is also very easily identifiable.  Just look for the young kid wearing board shorts and a loud Hawaiian shirt driving a rig that says something like “RV Rentals for America” all over it.  This person probably stepped in the RV that morning and barely knows where the gas goes let alone where his back end is swinging.  There is little chance he/she will see you and even if they do, they won’t be too sure how to change lanes so they are just coming over.  Better be ready.  When you see this person, your best bet is to pull over and have a “French lunch.”  This is an outstanding concept invented by the French where if caught in a traffic jam you just get out, crack open a bottle of wine and hang out with friends until the danger clears.  You don’t want to be on the road with the amateur. 

• The Rest of Us.  This is the crowd that is hard to identify.  Most of us fall in this category.   We’ve been at it a bit and are working hard to be considerate and safe.  But we won’t be fast and we may, on occasion, cause some slowdowns. Give a bit of space and some forgiveness if we unintentionally cause you heartache. 

Once you get the hang of it, driving Mobi is not all that bad.  A little planning and you can get almost anywhere.  You just won’t necessarily get there fast. So when you see those big rigs on the road, give us plenty of space, feel free to pass and we will see you when we get there!