Shower Theft

Let me start this post by stipulating three things:

• First, I am confessing to what some might consider petty theft.  Worse, the petty theft was committed on federal property.  This admission probably eliminates my chance of ever being elected to public office. 
• Second, during my act of petty theft, I also contributed to the delinquency of a minor.  In fairness, the minor in question is my own – and she joined my escapade without prompting.  Of course that fact could also lead one to question my overall fitness as a parent.
• Third, I have been accused of snobbishness on occasion.  The charitable view is that I have refined tastes.  The less charitable view is that I can be high maintenance.  That said, my dad always told me it was ok to be high maintenance as long as I was the one doing the maintenance (ie, bringing home the bacon). 

The theft in question happened back in late July.  We were in Yellowstone and had a banner day in the park.  It was quintessential Yellowstone.  The day started just after dawn with a backcountry hike that ended along the rim of Yellowstone Canyon.  It was our favorite kind of morning.  Quiet, a beautiful hike, and no people. Just us, the birds, chipmunks – and perhaps a bear around the corner?  The promise of wildlife always makes those hikes exciting.  After the hike, we drove south in the park through Hayden Valley and through a large herd of bison causing endless traffic snarls.  Once through the traffic we drove by Yellowstone Lake and then northwest, ending at the Yellowstone Inn.  I had packed our favorite board game, Settlers of Catan, in the event we had time that afternoon to relax at the Inn before heading back to our RV site. 

We had visited the Inn the day before.  What a magic place.  A massive building with fanciful architectural details – and lots of places to sprawl and recover from morning hikes. The prior day we ate lunch in the dining room at the Inn.  A wonderful place to eat a pretty awful lunch.  Dan and I both had chicken sandwiches that resembled oriented strand board (OSB).  Some chicken bits glued together in a puck and topped by a round slice of cheese that matched the exact diameter of the OSB puck.  I offer this criticism in part to excuse my bad behavior the next day….

We settled down the next afternoon on the second floor of the lobby to escape the tourist throngs below.  The second floor is essentially a square balcony open to the first floor. It leads to a large rooftop balcony that overlooks Old Faithful – meaning every 90 mins or so it fills to capacity with tourists too lazy to walk outside!  Or, more charitably, those tired from a days hiking that want to have a picnic lunch with a framed view of the famous geyser.  The second floor also offers ample seating and two bars – one for cocktails and one for espresso and hot chocolate.  To make the second floor even better that day, a violinist was playing beautiful music that softened the tourist din.

We tucked into a corner and settled down with various age appropriate beverages and snacks and played a fun game of Settlers.  At some point during the game we took breaks to find the bathroom. I was planning to head downstairs to bathrooms we found the prior day but Dan pointed out bathrooms on the second floor that were clearly visible from the lounge areas.  As we headed to these facilities we passed through a hallway lined with hotel rooms.  The Inn has some adjacent buildings with hotel rooms – but the original building that we were in contain its original rooms.  The whole layout suggested that the original rooms may not have had bathroom facilities en suite.  Many of the rooms were open for cleaning as we passed and clearly had been updated – but for all I know some of the rooms still use the central bathroom.   The bathroom itself was laid out in standard fashion, a row of sinks on one side and a row of stalls on the other.  But oh, so beautiful!  Original tile with marble vanities.  And, surprise, behind the stalls was a small alcove with windows on one side and showers on the other.  Not just showers, but tile and marble showers! 

As we played the second half of Settlers my thoughts drifted back to the showers.  The RV shower leaves much to be desired.  On the one hand, I recognize (and am grateful for!) the fact that a daily shower on this adventure is nothing to sneeze at.  On the other hand, remember I have refined tastes (snob).  I love a beautiful shower.  Gorgeous tile, marble shelfs or seats with a pretty edge, heavy brass hardware… I love it all!  My dream bathroom fixtures are Lefroy Brooks (cover picture) if that tells you anything. And water pressure – oh water pressure – I miss water pressure.  RV’s drip out a few teaspoons of water at a time. It is technically showering… but not really. 

As the game wound up, I couldn’t stand it any longer, I HAD to take a shower in that lovely bathroom.  Although I wasn’t entirely sure the hotel would approve of such a shower – there weren’t signs expressly forbidding it AND I had paid for a meal and several snacks at the hotel – including the OSB puck the day before.  It seemed as though the hotel and I were pretty square in the whole scheme of things. 

As I darted down the hall I realized I had Ava on my tail – she wanted in on the shower escapade.  We ducked into the bathroom, into separate shower stalls and took the most glorious 7 minute showers ever taken (we were quick about it, not wanting to tempt fate).  We didn’t have the usual post-shower items at our disposal (hairbrush, lotion, etc.) but no matter, we re-donned our hiking clothes, finger combed our hair and sauntered back to the lobby in high spirits.  It was like the mother-daughter version of Thelma and Louise – sans the cliff and all the other bad parts – just the free spirited adventure. 

To my friends at the Yellowstone Inn…if what I have described here is considered theft, I apologize and offer compensation.  I am easily reached (and chided!) on the “contact us” page.  If my shower was included in the Yellowstone Inn second floor lounge experience, don’t tell me.  A girl likes to feel a little rebellious now and again.