I have lived in homes large and small. Dorm rooms, apartments, tiny bungalows and large houses. Dorm room notwithstanding, my homes have ranged in size from just under 1,000 sq ft to over 4,000 sq ft. All that makes our current living arrangement seem a little crazy. Dan, the girls and I share 339 sq ft. Some days this seems incredibly normal, other days it feels like a doomed social experiment. I don’t miss what I thought I would miss (space) and I do miss what I didn’t realize I would (alone time).
Space in an RV is tight. Think about all the possessions we rely on to make our days comfortable. Pots and pans, books, shampoo, a yoga mat, winter jackets, pantry items, dish soap and the list goes on. Some of those things can be reduced (pots and pans) or made digital (books) but in the end, comfort dictates a certain amount of “stuff” come along for the ride. The trip has been an interesting experiment to determine the physical items I truly value and which ones I can live without for a year. It turns out, when push comes to shove, I love physical (vs digital) books more than I love shoes (and I love shoes!). But “home” for me includes seeing books on a bedside table – even if the table only measures 9×11 inches. I get joy from books. I get satisfaction from shoes – but not joy.
I have also discovered that getting down to the essentials hasn’t really made a dent in how we live. We probably have ¼ of the kitchen stuff we had in Charlotte. There are things we can’t make (I didn’t bring cupcake tins) but for the most part we can muster almost any meal that we used to make at home. We have to plan carefully – the Barbie Dream House has more counter space than our RV – but if we get creative about prep surfaces, we can make a really nice meal. A homemade lasagna with Dan’s fabulous bread and a salad with Ava’s wonderful salad dressing, no problem. Making and canning apricot jam, messy and hot, but doable. Making applesauce from apples we picked in a NY orchard, yep we can do that too. Ava’s baking dreams have been foiled by our insane and unreliable oven – but beyond that we are humming along pretty well.
I think the last space lesson for me is that the old adage…a place for everything and everything in its place…is so necessary in an RV. When you have a tiny space – each item in that space must have a home. My favorite examples are my jewelry box and our spice drawer. Ava masterminded our spice drawer. I will never go back to my old setup (tiered shelf in the pantry) when we go home. This new solution is so simple and elegant! We love to cook – and love to cook with a variety of spices – so a solution that fits them all and lets us find them quickly is a must. Ava’s labeled drawer – all 11×16 inches of it – meets this requirement in spades. My jewelry box is another favorite. Let’s face it, most of us use the same jewelry items on a daily basis anyway. I just piled mine, in this case earrings, in a 2 inch square glass box. It’s a small thing but it makes me happy every time I open it.
What do I miss? I miss being alone. You know the airline safety drill…” put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.” Turns out my oxygen mask is space – literally finding enough space to breath in oxygen. I didn’t realize how much alone time I had in my normally busy life. I commuted on my own, I generally worked out on my own (or at least on my own yoga mat separated from fellow yogis by a few feet), I often cooked alone. I sometimes worked alone in my office; the door shut for a few hours so I could concentrate on a particular task. I gardened alone; happily plowing through the dirt and tending green things. I went to the farmers market alone. All these tasks I don’t consider lonely were done alone. None of those tasks are done alone on this trip. My yoga studio is our living room – and unless everyone agrees to vacate the RV – having my family watch me do yoga doesn’t generate feelings of namaste. Cooking is never done alone because your kitchen is also your dining room and living room. Grocery shopping is typically a team sport because we have one car and often grocery shop on the way back from a family trip to town.
I love my family. They make me laugh. They make me grateful for life. But lack of alone time means that you don’t get to shake off the small annoyances all human beings, myself included, generate. Little bits of drama, or whining, or mildly irritating habits; all of it gets magnified when you don’t have space to retreat into aloneness. And these are people I CHOOSE to be with. Imagine how astronauts on the space station feel? What if your crewmates are really grating on you by day 100? It makes me hyperventilate just thinking about it. I suppose I am too old to try out for NASA anyway, but clearly if the career path was open, I would not be qualified!
Tonight we are in a park on the Hudson. I just finished family-free yoga, Dan just returned from a long walk and the girls (who rarely seem to tire of each other, thank my lucky stars!) are outside at a picnic table painting watercolors. Well they are mostly painting each other, but that’s ok too. Everyone has found their own little space to breath. Wish us luck and lots of breathing space – next up – NYC!